This post is brought to you by Crystal Pepsi

I'm watching a college football game on ESPN right now and the halftime show is called the "Olive Garden Halftime Show." That is pretty fucking lame. What does a casual, family-friendly, classic Italian dining experience have to do with football? Also, on the World Series of Poker they have a KFC Snacker cam. The next logical step is the Summer's Eve Douche first down line. Watch for it.

Dude is the new Chief

I've realized that the word "dude" is the new "chief" in certain contexts. If you don't know what I'm talking about, people use such names to be backhandedly condescending. It drives me nuts. My fucking *boss* used "dude" on me in such a way twice. He's a waste anyhow, so I don't expect anything else from him.

Anyhow, please don't use Chief, Dude, Bud, Buddy, etc. unless you're truly trying to be an asshole, Gaylord.

JQuotes

One of my more memorable quotes from high school was "High school is like the movie Groundhog Day, but with consequences." My new quote for my current job is "My job is like Office Space, but not funny."

Cab Fun

Sorry for not updating ever. I have a lot to catch up on. Here's a blurb from one of my nights copied and pasted from an email.

"Soo I come back from the bar at like 11 or something. I take a cab. Bill is 10. I try to give him 20 and he says he doesn't have change. I tell him I can use my cc. He says it isn't working. I explain to him that it's his responsibility to have change and have his cc thing working and have change. He starts to get pissed bc I'm calling him out. He then says we should go to a coffee shop. I say no. He starts to drive there. I can a.) Just get out of the car and pay 20 b.) Go to the coffee shop and pay him. C) get out and don't pay d.) Call the cops. I go with b, but I'm livid as hell. I wasn't in the mood for his bs. He continues to run the meter. I'm even more pissed. We get to dunkin donuts on wellington. He says he'll get the change. I say hell no. I go in there and ask the cashier for change. He says he's not allowed to do that. I tell him my situation. I'm just a fucking mess right now. I say "fine, give me something cheap, a fuckin donut hole" That's verbatim. He just give me 2 10s cuz he realized I didn't want to be fucked with. I get the change, go back outside, litterally throw 10 dollars at him and say "here's your fuckin money. You know, you're a real piece of shit. I'm calling your fucking company." That's close to verbatim. He yells some shit back and I just walk away. I kind of changed directions after I walked a bit to avoid him if he decided to swing back around. He did swing back around but he either didn't see me or changed his mind. I was pretty scared at that point.
But ugh, that whole ep was ridiculous. I rarely get like that but I was pissed to begin with and he was being fucking ridiculous. I'm calling his company today. I remembered his cab #. I couldn't fall asleep til 1. =/"