Top 12 things on the to do list for tomorrow:
1. Attend 8am marketing meeting
2. Bring sexy back
3. Answer work emails
4. Remove all the toilet paper from bathrooms in floors with prime numbers
5. Finish LBO model
6. Make Roth IRA contribution
7. Contemplate the size of an electron
8. File expenses
9. Do 1,000 crunches under my desk without anyone noticing
10. Eat all confidential documents.
11. Smoke the really confidential documents.
12. Make sure to get Netflix in the mail
15.12.09
8.12.09
I'm an internet/attention whore
I figure I'd link my Twitter account here since it's basically a mini version of this blog -- i.e., generally streaming, always random, often ridiculous jokes/anecdotes and tasty nuggets o' wisdom published mostly for my own amusement and record-keeping. So, there will never be any "my coffee is yummy"-type updates from me. Especially since the coffee I drink usually isn't very good.
22.11.09
Texts from last night
I received a great 'text from last night', ummmm, last night.
friend: I maced myself and puked in a dasani bottle in the game. i did not have a great time
ahahaha. Further conversation:
me: how did you puke in a bottle with a small opening?
friend: i puked in my mouth, slowly spit it out into the bottle and then left the game
I guess that's what this will do to you.
friend: I maced myself and puked in a dasani bottle in the game. i did not have a great time
ahahaha. Further conversation:
me: how did you puke in a bottle with a small opening?
friend: i puked in my mouth, slowly spit it out into the bottle and then left the game
I guess that's what this will do to you.
18.11.09
Thesaurus
I was talking with someone about alternatives for the word 'toilet' for use in a business email. Here's what I came up with:
'sewage conduit'
'waste management facilitator'
'water closet seat'
'byproduct receptacle'
'ceramic restroom fixture'
'flushable water-bowl chair'
'metallically semi-partitioned thinking throne'
'aquatic bulk material jettison device'
'sewage conduit'
'waste management facilitator'
'water closet seat'
'byproduct receptacle'
'ceramic restroom fixture'
'flushable water-bowl chair'
'metallically semi-partitioned thinking throne'
'aquatic bulk material jettison device'
17.11.09
Pitt ND
Sooo I hosted a group of people in my hometown of Pittsburgh for the Pitt - ND game. There's probably a ton to talk about which I may get to later (probably not!), but a few bullets:
-We had probably 25-30 people at the tailgate. We ran though a full keg, probably 5 cases, and at least 4 bottles of liquor.
-Somebody came up with a 'shot' called Plutonium -- apple pucker, rumple minze, pucker. Jesus.
-I almost started a 'fu-ckin yin-zers' chant at Heinz Field. Would've been a bad idea, hah.
-We had probably 25-30 people at the tailgate. We ran though a full keg, probably 5 cases, and at least 4 bottles of liquor.
-Somebody came up with a 'shot' called Plutonium -- apple pucker, rumple minze, pucker. Jesus.
-I almost started a 'fu-ckin yin-zers' chant at Heinz Field. Would've been a bad idea, hah.
3.11.09
24.10.09
IMG00029-20091024-1209.jpg
BC Liveblog!
So today's a pretty big game for the irish, but I feel like people aren't as up for it as they should be (myself included).
Anyhow, the Drink of the Week is Riot Juice, as seen on Thursdays always sunny. It's perticularly applicable because if we lose there will be a riot. The indgredients, which are probably not 100pct accurate, are vodka, blue gatorade, and red bull. What pulls it all together is drinking it out of a clear water jug.
We just bought the ingredients and spent some time properly setting them up in styrofoam coolers. It's like we're transporting organs.
23.10.09
USC Liveblog, An Addendum
There was one particularly notable event that happened during the game that I wasn't able to write about at the time. So, I'll explain here:
When DFo and I got to our seats there was a guy in the row in front of us with this green goofy hat (don't know what the name of this type of hat is; it's like something an old man would wear) that said 'Chicago Irish' on it. This dude was probably in his mid to late 20's. DFo was being friendly and asked him if he was from Chicago and what high school he went to. They chatted for a little bit and that was that.
Fast-forward to the second quarter. Score is 3-7 USC. DFo and I were doing our normal football talk -- saying stuff like 'that was a good block', 'they're rolling coverage to Tate's side', 'interesting to see Walker in the game,' etc, etc. On one play, a USC defensive end jumps waaaay offsides but has enough time to stop and backtrack to his side of the field. DFo and I are upset and DFo says what we both were thinking in that it should be whistled dead and called as a penalty because the USC player was unabated to the quarterback. Our friend, the guy in the Chicago Irish hat, turns around and says there's not such thing and that a defensive player 'can run around in circles in the backfield as long as the ball is not snapped.' He then goes on further saying we've been talking way too much and talking out of our asses the whole game and how he 'has never heard two people who know so little about football talk so much about football'. Jesus. Christ.
Ok, where to start with all of this? Let's start with one point, just to get that out of the way. From the official 2009-2010 NCAA Rule Book, (PDF here) :
Before the snap, a Team B player crosses the neutral zone and, without making contact, continues his charge behind a Team A lineman and directly toward (read: unabated) the quarterback or kicker. RULING: A Team B player who is on Team A’s side of the neutral zone and is moving in a direct path toward the quarterback or kicker while he is behind an offensive lineman is considered to be interfering with Team A’s formation. Penalty—Team B foul, offside. Dead ball. Five yards from the succeeding spot.
So, first of all, this goofy-hatted fuck was wrong about the point in question. Further DFo, and I were not being obnoxious, loud, or making ridiculous statements. It's not like we were saying "oh, man, Weis should have called a 20 yard switch-route concept against that Cover 9 robber USC defense." The nerve of this guy was unbelievable, especially considering he is supposedly an ND fan, we were chatting and being friendly earlier, and it being the biggest game in 10 years.
DFo and I are just amazed at the audacity and dickishness of this dude. Some of my responses, other than assuring him that 'unabated to the QB' is a rule, were:
"Oh, I'm sorry. Do you have a PhD in football? Thank God you here to educate the laymen."
"Are you a disguised USC fan? Why in the hell would you pick a random fight with someone on the same team?"
We then proceeded to make jokes about how I hope we get a home run, and other jokes like that. So the guy actually leaves at halftime. Maybe he was scared or something?? Not sure why he'd be scared of two dorky-looking white dudes, but whatever.
Another story of how AWESOME Notre Dame fans are. Ugh.
Also, depending on how I'm feeling tomorrow (have been sick this week), I may liveblog the BC game tomorrow.
When DFo and I got to our seats there was a guy in the row in front of us with this green goofy hat (don't know what the name of this type of hat is; it's like something an old man would wear) that said 'Chicago Irish' on it. This dude was probably in his mid to late 20's. DFo was being friendly and asked him if he was from Chicago and what high school he went to. They chatted for a little bit and that was that.
Fast-forward to the second quarter. Score is 3-7 USC. DFo and I were doing our normal football talk -- saying stuff like 'that was a good block', 'they're rolling coverage to Tate's side', 'interesting to see Walker in the game,' etc, etc. On one play, a USC defensive end jumps waaaay offsides but has enough time to stop and backtrack to his side of the field. DFo and I are upset and DFo says what we both were thinking in that it should be whistled dead and called as a penalty because the USC player was unabated to the quarterback. Our friend, the guy in the Chicago Irish hat, turns around and says there's not such thing and that a defensive player 'can run around in circles in the backfield as long as the ball is not snapped.' He then goes on further saying we've been talking way too much and talking out of our asses the whole game and how he 'has never heard two people who know so little about football talk so much about football'. Jesus. Christ.
Ok, where to start with all of this? Let's start with one point, just to get that out of the way. From the official 2009-2010 NCAA Rule Book, (PDF here) :
Before the snap, a Team B player crosses the neutral zone and, without making contact, continues his charge behind a Team A lineman and directly toward (read: unabated) the quarterback or kicker. RULING: A Team B player who is on Team A’s side of the neutral zone and is moving in a direct path toward the quarterback or kicker while he is behind an offensive lineman is considered to be interfering with Team A’s formation. Penalty—Team B foul, offside. Dead ball. Five yards from the succeeding spot.
So, first of all, this goofy-hatted fuck was wrong about the point in question. Further DFo, and I were not being obnoxious, loud, or making ridiculous statements. It's not like we were saying "oh, man, Weis should have called a 20 yard switch-route concept against that Cover 9 robber USC defense." The nerve of this guy was unbelievable, especially considering he is supposedly an ND fan, we were chatting and being friendly earlier, and it being the biggest game in 10 years.
DFo and I are just amazed at the audacity and dickishness of this dude. Some of my responses, other than assuring him that 'unabated to the QB' is a rule, were:
"Oh, I'm sorry. Do you have a PhD in football? Thank God you here to educate the laymen."
"Are you a disguised USC fan? Why in the hell would you pick a random fight with someone on the same team?"
We then proceeded to make jokes about how I hope we get a home run, and other jokes like that. So the guy actually leaves at halftime. Maybe he was scared or something?? Not sure why he'd be scared of two dorky-looking white dudes, but whatever.
Another story of how AWESOME Notre Dame fans are. Ugh.
Also, depending on how I'm feeling tomorrow (have been sick this week), I may liveblog the BC game tomorrow.
17.10.09
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