Word/Phrase: "Tickled Pink"
Why I hate it: Not only are you a fucking fairy if you use this, but it doesn't even make sense. What the *fuck* does this even mean?
Appropriate death strike: Scissor kick to the back of the skull.
Word/Phrase: "Making Whoopee"
Why I hate it: This shit makes me cringe. What, are you on the Goddamn Newlywed show? STFU
Appropriate death strike: Lexington Steele Danza Slap.
Word/Phrase: "Value Added"
Why I hate it: I could compile a list of just business terms that piss me off. This is one of the mose cliche imaginable. If you're doing work that doesn't add any value then there is something dreadfully wrong.
Appropriate death strike: Head first into a super large Salad Shooter.
Word/Phrase: "Going out"
Why I hate it: Ok, this shit is waaay overused and isn't very logical. It's painfully non-descriptive. I associate it wil getting all prissy and going to a club or something. Weak.
Appropriate death strike: Carnivorous scarab beetle in the brain.
To be continued...
21.12.06
17.12.06
Depressing
There was a word on the Ihop menu that I didn't understand. That's a 50 intelligence points minus.
15.12.06
World of Workcraft
So I got out of the house today to perform my daily raid in the city of Chi-nassus and hopped on the Train of Stress and Elevation which exacted its usual fury upon me, causing a neg 50 hp. My DOTs had no effect and I was forced to exit. My day of Excel farming with my corporate Guild was rougher than a two person raid on Kel'thuzad. Unfortunately my boss pwn'd me and casted a level 5 Deadline spell at the end of the day and I wasn't wearing my usual Shield of Apathy or even my Skirting gauntles. I'm sure tomorrow he'll give me a 50 DKP minus. There goes my hope of getting a Legendary item at the end of the year. I'll probably have to deal with a Rare Quality one. =( Since it was really late I didn't feel like dealing with the Train again, I decided to warp home even though it costs 15 Manna.
Disclaimer: I don't play "WoW," so there are discrepancies I'm sure.
Disclaimer: I don't play "WoW," so there are discrepancies I'm sure.
10.12.06
Rush
I've decided I want to join the Illuminati. I feel like I fit the demographic... The problem is, how do I join? Is there an online application I can fill out? Are there interview slots available?
Please contact me. = /
Please contact me. = /
6.12.06
Bring in the Baron
Your favorite football team is down 4 with 20 seconds left with your opponent lining up to kick a field goal to go up by 7. Thankfully, your team is rumored to have a secret weapon. He is a 6'7", 275 lb, 34 year-old from Dusseldorf, Germany. He can't speak English and doesn't normally get in the game, but at this moment there is no player more important in the world.
Your team's only chance is to block, and subsequently house (that is, return for a TD) the impending kick. Thankfully, this is the specialty of the aptly named Otto von Blockenhaus, Baron of blocking kicks and returning them for touchdowns. He draws his power from his lederhosen (which he wears outside his uniform) and the Weizenbock he chugs before, and sometimes during, each play.
The actual existence of the Baron is disputed. There have been claims of Baron sightings at high school football games in rural Mongolia and the South. Unfortunately, these people have yet to discover video-recording technology so the existence of this creature remains uncertain. His purported modus operandi is to knife through the D-line like a ghost, catch the football immediately after it has been kicked, bitch-slap the kicker like town whore Fraulein Schuder, and rumble his way to the end zone.
The moral of the story is that there is hope. Next time your team is in a dire situation have faith and yell in your best German accent, "BRING IN ZEE BLOCKENHAUS!" He's your only chance.
Your team's only chance is to block, and subsequently house (that is, return for a TD) the impending kick. Thankfully, this is the specialty of the aptly named Otto von Blockenhaus, Baron of blocking kicks and returning them for touchdowns. He draws his power from his lederhosen (which he wears outside his uniform) and the Weizenbock he chugs before, and sometimes during, each play.
The actual existence of the Baron is disputed. There have been claims of Baron sightings at high school football games in rural Mongolia and the South. Unfortunately, these people have yet to discover video-recording technology so the existence of this creature remains uncertain. His purported modus operandi is to knife through the D-line like a ghost, catch the football immediately after it has been kicked, bitch-slap the kicker like town whore Fraulein Schuder, and rumble his way to the end zone.
The moral of the story is that there is hope. Next time your team is in a dire situation have faith and yell in your best German accent, "BRING IN ZEE BLOCKENHAUS!" He's your only chance.
5.12.06
Goin' Stag
So apparently a 70 year-old woman shot her husband because he gave her a warm beer. Link: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,234618,00.html.
At first glance this seems ridiculous. However, that probably wasn't the first time he pulled such a stunt. Stag beer just isn't good warm. So fuck that. If my spouse has been handing me warm beers for the last 60-odd years I'm not gonna take that shit any more. "Hey, bitch. You give me a warm Stag, I'll give you a hot silver bullet. Right to the domepiece. Blaaaahdow!"
At first glance this seems ridiculous. However, that probably wasn't the first time he pulled such a stunt. Stag beer just isn't good warm. So fuck that. If my spouse has been handing me warm beers for the last 60-odd years I'm not gonna take that shit any more. "Hey, bitch. You give me a warm Stag, I'll give you a hot silver bullet. Right to the domepiece. Blaaaahdow!"
4.12.06
Deep Thoutghts
Quick thought.
Chicago is windy as shit. I remember hearing that Chicago was dubbed the Windy City for political reasons. What a ridiculous coincidence. That's like calling the North Pole "Snow City" because Santa has a cocaine problem.
Chicago is windy as shit. I remember hearing that Chicago was dubbed the Windy City for political reasons. What a ridiculous coincidence. That's like calling the North Pole "Snow City" because Santa has a cocaine problem.
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