PSA

I think I found my calling. I'm going to travel around to high schools and such to talk to kids about alcohol. I'm not going to tell them not to drink or to drink moderately, but to handle their biz. The gist of my message: "Little Johnny had too much to drink one night, drove home, and ran over an orphanage. Johnny, I don't care if you had 20 drinks. Quit being a bitch and handle your shit, son!"