Through some conversations I've had recently at work I've noticed that there is a dearth of relationship terms and tiers. People throw around terms like "seeing," "dating," etc. without there being a common understanding as to what those terms means. They also seem to mean different things to different people. I'd like to take a stab at creating tiers and definitions that could be universally adopted to help clarify things. I'll try to make them really simple and really broad. These are previously used terms, but I'm assigning them definitions somewhat randomly.
"Going Out" - Actively going out on dates. No exclusivity.
"Seeing" - More serious than going out. There isn't "required" exclusivity, but a.) you don't want to date anyone else, or b.) you'd feel a little weird/guilty if you did go out/hook up with someone else.
"Dating" - This means you have a girlfriend/boyfriend. Typically I've used this along with "seeing," but I'm redefining things now. You are exclusive.
These terms and levels are not all-inclusive obviously. There can be "friends with benefits" and whatnot, but the above covers most normal relationships.
Obviously, my suggestions will never go into widespread use. But it would make things easier if they did.
While I'm at it, I think "hooking up" needs defined. When I was in hs hooking up meant sex. I still remember during my first few weeks at college I was in this convo with a bunch of girls and they're all talking about hooking up with all sorts of people. I was thinking "damn, this college shit is crazy." I later found out that this was ND and (whether for better or for worse) there wasn't much of this type of hooking up going down. So at ND hooking up means anything at or above making out. I use the ND version and propose this be used universally for consistency's sake.
And can somebody please comment at least for the sake of posting a comment? J Tempo is getting lonely. I know for a fact other people read this piece. Do it anonymously! Throw me a bone here!
6 comments:
I totally disagree. On that tier I would switch dating and going out. Dating means exactly that. You have dates with the other person. That is not exclusive in the least. "Going out" means you are boyfriend/girlfriend.
The end.
~m
Hmm now that she says it that way it makes me rethink it. I may have to agree with the Garch here. Those two could be interchangable.
Either way I prefer booty call or friends with benefits myself. But thats just me.
-P
Wow, "romantic semantics" is so catchy! You must have spent hours coming up with that, you dolt. I'm sick of people thinking they can tell ME how to live my life just because they went to some "top tier" university like Notre Lame. What does "top tier" mean anyways? Capitalist jerk. To each according to his need, from each according to his ability. That's how the world should be. I don't get the lucky breaks that you rich private school twits, with your Starbucks after a rousing lacrosse match. I have to work to support myself, and without my labor, your mind would mean NOTHING! All I'm trying to say is give the people a break. Let us live our lives and stop trying to control us. Amen.
Hate you Sean. >:0
LOL.. I think I'm willing to agree with Michelle on this one. Yours made sense, but hers makes a little bit more sense.
Also.. I fully agree with the need to standardize the definition of "hooking up." I, too, remember going to college and being very confused about the whorishness of everyone around me. I fought the urge to define it as just screwing around without the screwing... but then I was forced to give in. Reminds me of how I was bastardized into calling pop "soda." Sigh.
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