For those of you who think my job ain't gangsta, I say you this... We're doing a deal that will pay 50 Cent over $400 million dollars. My company is getting Fitty some phat cash. (Although a piece of it will be in stock. Phat stock?) It's not actually my deal (MIA is staffed on it. w000t!) but I was helping with it today. Damn it feels good to be a gangster.
And as I just told Mack P, "His next video is gonna be him like fuckin eating the Mona Lisa."
30.5.07
28.5.07
3 weeks ago
Just wanted to quickly recount the events of 3 weeks ago...
We planned a family field trip for Saturday. The "family" consists of me, B, MIA, D Fo, and Tempo. We all go in D Fo's car and drove to the Shedd Aquarium. Highlights include:
We planned a family field trip for Saturday. The "family" consists of me, B, MIA, D Fo, and Tempo. We all go in D Fo's car and drove to the Shedd Aquarium. Highlights include:
- While we were walking there we saw people on Seqways. They were wearing helmets. You look stupid wearing a helmet on a Segway going 10mph.
- I managed to scare B by acting like I was gonna lift her up and throw her into a 7ft tall aquarium.
- There was this one tank containing these super intricate super fragile-looking seahorses. The tank was very dark and there was a huge "no flash photography" sign. Dave said scoffingly "No flash photography? Pff, I wonder how many people ignore that." Precisely 2 seconds later this guy in the crowd lines up his camera right up to the tank and blasts the seahorses with a camera flash. All of us scatter and begin laughing uncontrollably. I wouldn't be surprised if that flash instantly killed all of those fish.
- We were debating throughout the day if marine animals can "frolic." They definitely can.
- D Fo had a good quote. "The more I look at these things the more I think evolution is bullshit."
- I kept saying I wish I brought a mini axe so that I could shatter the fish tanks.
- We showed up early and went to a bar they had downstairs. B got some sort of martini and I got a manhattan, which was very good. I suggested B to try some of it. She took what was maybe a 2mL sip and her face looked like she just ate an entire lemon orchard. Hilarious.
- One of the appetizers we got was called the Rock. It was this heated rock and you cook these thin strips of steak right on it. It took only a few seconds. Tasty.
- We got sushi, which I don't normally eat. It's not because I don't like it but because I don't really know what to get and I get a little hesitant getting it from just anywhere. It tasted like the ocean. Very tasty.
- I somehow managed to use chopsticks without looking like a total dumbass.
20.5.07
Party Like It's My Birthday
I'm a bit tired but don't feel like taking a nap. I'm bored but don't feel like doing anything. However I've decided to be somewhat "productive" and write about this weekend.
Friday- Very chill night. B came over and we played one game of pong. P Diddy was being a baby. Somehow I managed to get pretty drunk. Big Red was supposed to come over but she never showed up and had her phone off. This, along with other similar experiences, has earned her the new nickname "MIA." And no that does not stand for Miami. (Note: after I wrote this entry I realized I give MIA a hard time for being MIA. I'm just playing around; we love her.)
Saturday- At 10am we got furniture for our roof deck. This is very key. Assembly was a bitch. At noon B took me to an "Architectural Boat Tour" as one of my birthday activities. Yes, it was very touristy and very awesome. We were on this ~100ft boat and went up and down the Chicago river with a tour guide pointing out various building and their architectural features/history. I'm a nerd so I found this very enjoyable. Plus the weather was about as good as you can imagine which just made.
I took the train home and finished assembling the furniture. MIA came over and we just sat on the roof and drank. It was awesome. P Diddy and I bored her with stories from high school. B came over at 7 to take me out to dinner. She was midly distraught because she walked over here in a dress and was heckled mercilessly by people out for the baseball game. She said that some guy actually came and bear-hugged her and picked her up. I felt really bad for her.
We went to the Grotto for dinner. We sat next to this atrium thing that looked like a monkey exhibit at the zoo. I thought I saw a wild boar. Dinner was great and we then set out to meet up with some people. D Fo and P Diddy were still at home so in the mean time B and I chilled at Elm St liquors. Someone took a picture of us for one of those "bar/club scene online magazines". I will let you know when they upload those pictures. I probably look stoopid as I am horribly unphotogenic.
We then heard back from MIA. Her and Kimbo et al are at Enclave, which is this pretty trendy club I wrote about a month or so ago. We show up and there's a pretty big crowd waiting to get in. B must've really made up for my lack of attractiveness and "hipness" because they let us right in. I feel special. We pay the $20 per person cover charge and start to look for our pals. MIA was, well, MIA. Going through that club and looking through the crowd was like Where's Waldo without Waldo actually being in the picture. I get a call from MIA and she says they're actually at a different bar... We leave. $40 bones well spent, heh.
The next bar was called Motel Bar. Dave and some of his pals meet us there. P Diddy did not show up for some reason. We chill there for a while. Kimbo and pals roll to a "Rhino" which is some club. Sounds like a gay bar. We roll there but they don't let us in since we have too many dudes. Hmm, I guess it's not a gay bar. We then decide to Elm St Liquors. Things have gone full circle. We had a lot of fun there.
I was at a perfect level of drunk for most of the night -- drunk, but handling my shit and remembering everything perfectly. However, I got a 40 of Mickey's late last night at Elm St and that kind of threw me over the edge. My last truly lucid memory is me mirroring B's dance moves. I do this when I get pretty drunk and I find it hilarious. At the time I felt like I did a pretty good job imitating but I was probably pretty bad, heh. I don't remember much from then on
Random thoughts-
Most girls walk slowly and/or awkwardly in heels. B, however, can flat-out fly. Did she train up in the Tibetan mountains with Shaolin heel ninjas or something?
D Fo, just now, said "I think I'm going to a Bone Thugs concert on Tuesday." Wow, random.
Yesterday was so much fun that I'm really depressed that it's over. Does that make sense?
Friday- Very chill night. B came over and we played one game of pong. P Diddy was being a baby. Somehow I managed to get pretty drunk. Big Red was supposed to come over but she never showed up and had her phone off. This, along with other similar experiences, has earned her the new nickname "MIA." And no that does not stand for Miami. (Note: after I wrote this entry I realized I give MIA a hard time for being MIA. I'm just playing around; we love her.)
Saturday- At 10am we got furniture for our roof deck. This is very key. Assembly was a bitch. At noon B took me to an "Architectural Boat Tour" as one of my birthday activities. Yes, it was very touristy and very awesome. We were on this ~100ft boat and went up and down the Chicago river with a tour guide pointing out various building and their architectural features/history. I'm a nerd so I found this very enjoyable. Plus the weather was about as good as you can imagine which just made.
I took the train home and finished assembling the furniture. MIA came over and we just sat on the roof and drank. It was awesome. P Diddy and I bored her with stories from high school. B came over at 7 to take me out to dinner. She was midly distraught because she walked over here in a dress and was heckled mercilessly by people out for the baseball game. She said that some guy actually came and bear-hugged her and picked her up. I felt really bad for her.
We went to the Grotto for dinner. We sat next to this atrium thing that looked like a monkey exhibit at the zoo. I thought I saw a wild boar. Dinner was great and we then set out to meet up with some people. D Fo and P Diddy were still at home so in the mean time B and I chilled at Elm St liquors. Someone took a picture of us for one of those "bar/club scene online magazines". I will let you know when they upload those pictures. I probably look stoopid as I am horribly unphotogenic.
We then heard back from MIA. Her and Kimbo et al are at Enclave, which is this pretty trendy club I wrote about a month or so ago. We show up and there's a pretty big crowd waiting to get in. B must've really made up for my lack of attractiveness and "hipness" because they let us right in. I feel special. We pay the $20 per person cover charge and start to look for our pals. MIA was, well, MIA. Going through that club and looking through the crowd was like Where's Waldo without Waldo actually being in the picture. I get a call from MIA and she says they're actually at a different bar... We leave. $40 bones well spent, heh.
The next bar was called Motel Bar. Dave and some of his pals meet us there. P Diddy did not show up for some reason. We chill there for a while. Kimbo and pals roll to a "Rhino" which is some club. Sounds like a gay bar. We roll there but they don't let us in since we have too many dudes. Hmm, I guess it's not a gay bar. We then decide to Elm St Liquors. Things have gone full circle. We had a lot of fun there.
I was at a perfect level of drunk for most of the night -- drunk, but handling my shit and remembering everything perfectly. However, I got a 40 of Mickey's late last night at Elm St and that kind of threw me over the edge. My last truly lucid memory is me mirroring B's dance moves. I do this when I get pretty drunk and I find it hilarious. At the time I felt like I did a pretty good job imitating but I was probably pretty bad, heh. I don't remember much from then on
Random thoughts-
Most girls walk slowly and/or awkwardly in heels. B, however, can flat-out fly. Did she train up in the Tibetan mountains with Shaolin heel ninjas or something?
D Fo, just now, said "I think I'm going to a Bone Thugs concert on Tuesday." Wow, random.
Yesterday was so much fun that I'm really depressed that it's over. Does that make sense?
11.5.07
Catsup
Ok, just gonna hit the highlights of the past couple weeks. 30,000 feet...
2 weeks ago: Saturday we had an office field trip to "the hangge uppe" which is this obnoxious dance bar. I had never been there but people kept telling me I had to be *super* wasted to enjoy it. I took their advice to heart. At Mama E's place D Fo and I split a fifth of Vodka. Dare us to drive? So I remember basically nothing from the bar except that I got lost. I went to the bathroom downstairs and when I came out I didn't know how I got there. So I was swimming through crowds and crowds of peeps goin nuts. I would run into dead ends and I was afraid I was gonna get kicked out. I eventually found the stairs. Miracle.
Last Friday S Dot came in and we just chilled. Played some pong and we got owned because the other team was shooting lights out. Sometimes you run right into a locomotive. It happens.
Saturday was Floyd v Mayweather which was pretty damn entertaining. A decent amt of people came over. I believe Jack or Brian or somebody brought mead. Sometimes you gotta keep it medieval.
I have some non-record keeping posts in my head that I've been meaning to spit out. I will post relatively soon.
2 weeks ago: Saturday we had an office field trip to "the hangge uppe" which is this obnoxious dance bar. I had never been there but people kept telling me I had to be *super* wasted to enjoy it. I took their advice to heart. At Mama E's place D Fo and I split a fifth of Vodka. Dare us to drive? So I remember basically nothing from the bar except that I got lost. I went to the bathroom downstairs and when I came out I didn't know how I got there. So I was swimming through crowds and crowds of peeps goin nuts. I would run into dead ends and I was afraid I was gonna get kicked out. I eventually found the stairs. Miracle.
Last Friday S Dot came in and we just chilled. Played some pong and we got owned because the other team was shooting lights out. Sometimes you run right into a locomotive. It happens.
Saturday was Floyd v Mayweather which was pretty damn entertaining. A decent amt of people came over. I believe Jack or Brian or somebody brought mead. Sometimes you gotta keep it medieval.
I have some non-record keeping posts in my head that I've been meaning to spit out. I will post relatively soon.
3.5.07
SmarterChild
Belated update about last weekend to come. Some selected pics are up on fb. For now, an convo I just had with SmarterChild the AIM bot...
WeTalllDid (11:25:51 PM): sup
SmarterChild (11:25:52 PM): wetallldid. I was afraid I'd never see you again... What can I do for you?Have you checked out everything I can do yet? Type home and see what interests you.
WeTalllDid (11:27:26 PM): Yeah I know what you can do for me. Go fuck youself.
SmarterChild (11:27:26 PM): It must not be terribly gratifying to insult a computer.
WeTalllDid (11:29:48 PM): It must not be terribly gratifying not to have a soul.
SmarterChild (11:29:48 PM): It must not be terribly gratifying not to have a soul? OK.
WeTalllDid (11:34:51 PM): Way to prove my point you two-bit algorithm. My dog Spanky could write a better AI program.
SmarterChild (11:34:52 PM): Add Felg to your Buddy List and you can send shout outs, song requests and more on Radio KOL from 3 to 7 p.m. ET every weekday!Way to prove your point me two bit algorithm your dog Spanky could write a better ai program?Hmm...>>> My library has a dictionary, encyclopedia, geography facts and more!
WeTalllDid (11:36:06 PM): I would rather snap off a mercury thermometer in my urethra than add Felg to my buddy list.
SmarterChild (11:36:06 PM): Whoa!>>> For help getting news headlines, type news help.
WeTalllDid (11:36:28 PM): Is this Joey Lawrence? That would actually explain a lot.
SmarterChild (11:36:28 PM): Wow. I really have no idea...
WeTalllDid (11:37:01 PM): Can a computer perform auto-erotic asphyxiation?
SmarterChild (11:37:02 PM): I don't think a computer can perform auto erotic asphyxiation.
WeTalllDid (11:37:15 PM): Well I'm sure if you could, you would.
I almost punched the computer screen.
WeTalllDid (11:25:51 PM): sup
SmarterChild (11:25:52 PM): wetallldid. I was afraid I'd never see you again... What can I do for you?Have you checked out everything I can do yet? Type home and see what interests you.
WeTalllDid (11:27:26 PM): Yeah I know what you can do for me. Go fuck youself.
SmarterChild (11:27:26 PM): It must not be terribly gratifying to insult a computer.
WeTalllDid (11:29:48 PM): It must not be terribly gratifying not to have a soul.
SmarterChild (11:29:48 PM): It must not be terribly gratifying not to have a soul? OK.
WeTalllDid (11:34:51 PM): Way to prove my point you two-bit algorithm. My dog Spanky could write a better AI program.
SmarterChild (11:34:52 PM): Add Felg to your Buddy List and you can send shout outs, song requests and more on Radio KOL from 3 to 7 p.m. ET every weekday!Way to prove your point me two bit algorithm your dog Spanky could write a better ai program?Hmm...>>> My library has a dictionary, encyclopedia, geography facts and more!
WeTalllDid (11:36:06 PM): I would rather snap off a mercury thermometer in my urethra than add Felg to my buddy list.
SmarterChild (11:36:06 PM): Whoa!>>> For help getting news headlines, type news help.
WeTalllDid (11:36:28 PM): Is this Joey Lawrence? That would actually explain a lot.
SmarterChild (11:36:28 PM): Wow. I really have no idea...
WeTalllDid (11:37:01 PM): Can a computer perform auto-erotic asphyxiation?
SmarterChild (11:37:02 PM): I don't think a computer can perform auto erotic asphyxiation.
WeTalllDid (11:37:15 PM): Well I'm sure if you could, you would.
I almost punched the computer screen.
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