Shit just got real

In my never-ending quest to bring the highest-quality content to my expansive and loyal followers, I have updated the site a bit. You will now see JAW-DROPPING new colors and a Twizzle feed off to the right. Enjoy it, you ingrates. Now all I need to do is put some actual effort into creating content...

As seen on the skreetz

Tic-Tac-Toe. Regardless of how it plays out on her jacket, this bitch loses.

Brick wall. Bad projector screen.

Enter TBD

So I've officially moved out of the Octagon and into [insert TBD name here]. The physical move itself hasn't been too bad, but the transformation of [TBD] into a livable space is another story. My complete lack of "stuff" combined with time and resource constraints, exhaustion, and my ever-constant cycle of procrastination has made the transition a bit harrowing. The evolution in stages:

Stage 1
Country analog: Afghanistan, specifically the mountains
State: It's cold because I can't figure out how to turn the heat on. There are boxes, a desk, a desk chair and a bare mattress.
Anecdotes:
-Someone yells outside who is either getting taken away by the Taliban or is mentally disturbed.
-My main source of light in the living room is a desk lamp next to a pile of flattened cardboard boxes. It looks like I'm about to interrogate a captured soldier or some shit.

Stage 2
Country analog: Sudan
State: Same as Stage 1 but now it's hot as balls b/c my heat seems to have only one speed. 11.
Anecdotes: I had to take my shirt off while unpacking. Calm down, ladies.

Stage 3
Country analog: Mexico
State: I figured out the heating system. I now have a computer fired up. Internet access is stolen and very shoddy. Also, I have a shower curtain up that's held up by twist ties. (I didn't buy a full-fledged shower curtain yet bc I'm leaving these details to a female)
Anecdotes:
-I cut a pizza with a swiss army knife
-I ate a jello snack with no utensils. I tried to eat some ice cream like this but failed miserably.
-I opened a guinness bottle with a screwdriver and a lighter.

Stage 4
Country analog: Slovakia
State: Internet and television are fully operational. I have plastic silverware. Still no phone or furniture.
Anecdotes:
-I sat hard on a 1.5" carpet staple. It felt like it sounds.
-The television is a projector projecting onto a brick wall. Brick wall isn't the greatest projector screen. I'll upload a picture below.

So, I still sit at stage 4. The goal is Stage 10000: AMUHHRICA, BITCHES WHOOOOO BEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A EAT A DICK WORLD WOOOO FORD TRUCKS in a week or 2.