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This is reminding myself to write an entry on HPT. Don't have time now.

I would just like to express that I am down with that street vernacular, yo.

Don't be all insolent and shit up in my countenance, or I will bust a cap in your person. Pursuant to said policy, all haters will have to chill thier roll.

Even the blind squirrel finds a nut sometimes...

...and sometimes, out of pure dumb luck, he finds two.

Interesting Night

After work I went out with some work peeps and I almost busted a devastating joke. It went like the following. Female person who shall remain nameless: "I think I'm going to take the L home today. I'm not used to riding the train." I was about to say, "Yeah, you're used to a train being run on you!" Had I said the above, it would've been disastrous. And amazingly hilarious. Everyone there would've gone home and told their friends about it. Damn you tact.

Early Adopters

My friends and I were all about ghost riding before ghost riding was cool. Remember that.

Nanner

Today I replaced my friend/coworker's phone handset with a banana when he was out. I then called him as soon as he entered his cube.


I was going to buy a shirt with the above on the front but a.) it's somewhat insensitive (I'm not that immature these days) b.) I don't look good in black shirts, and c.)19/20 people wouldn't get it. However, it's very fucking humorous.


Gallent from Highlights is a smug bastard.


I thought of the worst. alarm clock. ever. On weekdays, it awakens its victim by playing a "Cha-Cha Slide" lyric. Specifically- "Go to work." Not only does it play a part of one of all time's worst songs, it commands and mocks you by telling you that you need to go to the office. You're gauranteed to shoot youself.


Since when did the word "nasty," as in "good at something," appear in the common vernacular? I missed the memo. Damn PC Load Letter. I would appreciate comment on this.

Sudoku

What's the obsession with Sudoku? I completed a "grid" or whatever on an airplane once and it sucked. It's effectively executing an algorithm over and over in your head until all squares are filled. I found it extremely mechanical. I'm pretty sure I could write a C++ program in under an hour that could solve these things.

I have a funny story regarding Sudoku matrices. I was on a crowded train one morning at there was this 22ish year-old girl sitting down doing a Sudoku puzzle. Sitting next to her is this really shading-looking guy who's blatantly looking over her shoulder. He's staring at the puzzle for a good 5 minute then whispers loudly "the middle is 5." She finds herself in a conundrum. She can a.) write in the 5 and motivate the weirdo to continue feeding her answers as well as concede that this screwball figures something out before you, or b.) not write it and come across as either stubborn or an asshole. It was a no win situation and I felt bad for her. She made the right call by waiting 45 seconds or so and then wrote it in. T'was quite awkward and amusing.

ConvenientTruth

OH MY FUCKING GOD IT'S GLOBAL FUCKING WARMING! WE'RE ALL FUCKED IN OUR ASSES BECAUSE IT'S GETTING SO HOT AND THE ICE CAPS ARE GONNA MELT AND WE'RE ALL GONNA HAVE TO EVOLVE WATERWOLD STYLE. AL GORE WAS RIGHT, WE'RE ALL GONNA BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN!

(btw that pic says negative 20 something windchill if you can't read it)

You know it's cold when... (btw, these are all things I have personally observed)

...it hurts to breathe.
...your head gets so cold that it feels like "brain freeze" when you eat ice cream too fast.
...your clothes are cold for 3 minutes after going inside.
...train signals don't work. (!)
...condensation from your breath on your glasses freezes.
...you get excited to see that temps are set to rise to the mid twenties.
...you see people sprinting to get inside a la The Day After Tomorrow.

This is what happens when temps are close to neg 10 with wind chill up to neg 35. This has been ridiculous. And when you spend at least 20% of your 45+ minute commute outside, this sucks brutally. It just plain can't get any colder at this latitude. I'm convinced this has been a 5, maybe 6, sigma event.

Posting for the sake of posting

My friend Kim organized a firm-wide happy hour with all the different branches and divisions. The turnout was pretty good. About 30-50 people were there. When we showed up there was this group of people at a table we thought we had reserved. At first we were like "whatever" but once more people arrived we tried to get them to move. They acted like they worked for our company but eventually we proved they didn't and we called the bouncers. The perps were acting like a bunch of juvenile hardasses and we almost got in a fight. Anyhow, crisis averted. I didn't really "mingle" with my fellow coworkers a whole lot because I wasn't in the mood. I did, for once, meet a girl that wasn't taken/annoying/unattractive. I'm surprised these girls exist any more with my luck. We'll see where that goes. Also of note, for the first time that I could remember, I had a white American cab driver. It was amazing. Very little else of note occurred yesterday.