St. Wasted's Day

I went home to PA on Friday. Here be the occurances:

• On Friday P-Diddy and I met our friend David Vogel at a bar named The Fox and the Hound. There were a couple chicks that came and sat right next to us and wanted to chat it up. We were pretty rude and didn't even bother to humor them for a minute. P-Diddy and I did, however, challenge Vogel to spit some game at the girls when he claimed that he had "mad game." Mockingly I dubbed him Milton Bradley because he has so much game.
  

• My friend Mack P had people over his house on Saturday. I brought over some Keystone and Guinness and we started drinking early (~5). We played pong throughout the night. My teams (including the infamous Team Hardcore- Me, P-Diddy, and the aptly named Cups) were 9-0. The last game was a pain. Our ghetto setup got changed somehow and moved from 9ft to ~10.5ft. I like 9ft the best because I feel like it fits my natural stroke. I'm fine with playing longer distances but the problem with the setup was the the ceiling was too low. Because I have a high release and put a lot of arc on the ball, I hit the ceiling multiple times and was forced to laser it. I somehow managed to hit a redemption shot and we won it in OT.
  
• Reading the above makes me wonder if I take pong too seriously. Wait, there's no such thing.
• Some random peeps from high school showed up. They brought 40s. I grabbed an OE and it was all downhill from there.
  
• We went to Tom's Diner really late. I for some reason ordered a ton of food- the "country breakfast," and 2 orders of bacon and 2 orders of eggs. That's like 6 eggs plus a bunch of other stuff. I didn't mean to order this much. There was some confusion in the loudness/dunkedness. The waitress was being a bitch and claimed that I would never eat all of that. This pissed me off and I started to pump myself up so I could eat it all. I mean, seriously, what kind of waitress mocks you for ordering a lot? Doesn't that help her? Good Lord. When the food comes I realize in 3 bites that I have no chance of finishing. My friends help me out and I still can't finish it. All of the booze and this huge egg sandwich that Mack P made me was just way too much. All of that food did sober me up pretty well, however.
  
• When we get back to Mack's everyone is gone and the door to the other half of the door is locked. I break in with a credit card to get my jacket. I learned later that it was locked because someone was in there with their lady friend. Luckily my timing was good.
• P-Diddy was semi-macking on this one girl that showed up. However he was cockblocked by one of our old schoolmates. He was not happy.
• I went on facebook and went nuts. I may have called one of my old college friends a "dumb bitch" on her fb wall. This was not good. Facebook should require a breathalyzer.
• Somebody stole Mack P's stove's knobs. This was not cool.
• Late in the night Vogel was sitting in a chair. I went nuts and started to kick out the posts below the seat that held the chair together until it collapsed beneath him.
• I woke up with so many scratches on me. My elbow was all scraped because I fell up the stairs. I also had scratches all over my forearm and hands because I was playing with "Balls", which is one of Mack P's rabbits. Yes, I was playing with Balls.
• While we are out at Tom's I was in one of my belligerent smack-talking modes. I kept calling people proletariats or "proles".
• Also, fireworks were set off randomly.
• Team Dynasty is 8-0 (5-0).