Chuckles

Ok, you may think that all I do is write about fizzyfinance. Well, perhaps you're right. Anyhow, I thought I'd publish the Chuck Norris jokes that I and my fellow coworkers came up with during training. Most of you wont get half of these.

• When CN uses CAPM he gets the actual, real-life cost of equity
• CN's bonds are rated AAAA
• CN loans negative dollars
• CN once earned 40 million dollars in fees for advising a company on how they didn't want to get roundhouse kicked by CN
• CN gets paid to hold options
• CN financed the Catholic church by issuing a loan with a first lien on Jesus.
• Some people diversify their portfolio by investing in other countries. CN diversifies his portfolio by investing in parallel dimensions.
• CN wipes his ass with Commercial Paper.
• One day CN took a short position on Rice-a-Roni. The next day San Francisco fell into the ocean. Coincidence? I don't think so.
• While bored one day CN invented the binomial option pricing model.
• CN amortizes Goodwill.
• CN bought Berkshire Hathaway class A shares at a dollar.
• If the FED needs to lower inflation they hire CN to roundhouse kick the money supply.
• CN semen futures sell for 6 souls a barrel.
• George Soros and Alan Greenspan once had sex with each other to prove they weren't gay. Their child was CN.